“Ignorance is bliss.”
I wish I didn’t know many of the things that I know now. Lately, I have been overwhelmed with the burden of so many different things happening in this world. It’s not unique to me and it’s not a new feeling. But I am feeling it more acutely the past couple of months.
The knowledge our 24 hour news cycle feeds us is overwhelming. Things in this world that I try to make a difference in don’t seem to change as fast as I want. I recently learned some things about different friends that make my heart hurt for them. Making disciples with teenagers continues to have highs and lows. Wanting to see human trafficking, senseless violence, global poverty, etc. gain less steam seems like an exercise in futility. Being a voice of hope and love is difficult.
I am all together discouraged about life right now.
4 “Say to them, ‘This is what the Lord says:
“‘When people fall down, do they not get up?
When someone turns away, do they not return?
5 Why then have these people turned away?
Why does Jerusalem always turn away?
They cling to deceit;
they refuse to return.
6 I have listened attentively,
but they do not say what is right.
None of them repent of their wickedness,
saying, “What have I done?”
Each pursues their own course
like a horse charging into battle. [Jeremiah 8:4-6]
I want to go back to ignorance, the innocence of being a child, but that’s not worth spending the mental energy. My goal is to help Livvy and Rosie to see the beauty in the world, God’s redemptive story amidst the pain, strife, and malice. Not to shelter them, but to instill an unswerving hope–even if my hope has its shaky moments. There are so many pictures of God’s Kingdom making headway, but I wish there was so much more.
On Sunday in my grandpa’s church
I watch from an old wooden pew
As they bury sinners in cold waters
And raise them again, they raise them again
They raise them again to start anew
We were looking for wrongs to be made right
We were waiting darkness to get scattered by the light
And you don’t know how hard I try
To forget, oh to forget, to forget what’s hidden
In the walls of my mind
And you tell me there is a hope I’m not seeing
You tell me there is an end in sight
But it’s hard when you’re stuck between Hallelujahs
Oh it’s hard when you’re stuck between Hallelujahs
And you don’t know why, and you don’t know why
Well it plays out like a movie
But with all the scenes rolling at the same time
I am an actor playing the villain in my own story
And I am hoping no one reads; oh I am hoping no one reads
I am hoping no one reads between my lines
This mirror is like a gavel; its reflection is a life sentence on me
So break that glass and scatter my silhouette
Whatever it takes, whatever it takes
Whatever it takes the means justify the end